I Tell You the View, is Truly Amazing

Well the last couple days we had a chance to get out and enjoy the wonders of God's creation. The kids got a chance to play in the Pacific Ocean  and feel the power of the waves. Dana got to walk on the beach and feel the sand and water between her toes. On the drive east to Riverside we saw snow-capped mountains through the palm-tree lined streets. Sky so blue it defines the color's name. I'm sure lots photos will follow later, one or two here won't d it justice.

Yesterday after church we met up with some more new friends. Maggie has been corresponding with a pen pal that she found through Focus on the Family. Again, it is just like God to prepare the way for us and provide a Christian family to visit with and share life together - their daughter suffered from leukemia a few years ago and the same questions we are asking about not knowing why we're on this path they had already gone through. (Hoo-hoo)

So all the wonders of God's creation has got me thinking about giving you another historical snippet. After the events of the diagnosis from the radiologist (see "Second Glance" from last week) it was time to find a Neurosurgeon. It was plain we were going to see a real specialist, cuz darn it we Delnor, St. Joe's and Sherman Hospitals are very nice but there was no way they were going to operate on my wife's brain.

Rush Univ. has a great reputation so she called there. "Well, our Chief Neurosurgeon has open clinic hours this afternoon, can you come at 2:00?" What?? The number one guy right away? It takes 6 months to see my dentist!! (Hoo-hoo)

So we dropped the kids off at Grammas and plowed through traffic to bring the MRIs to Dr. Byrne. Right away he looked at the scans and looked very concerned. It could be the Meningioma as the radiologist guessed but he thought very strongly it was an Esthesioneuroblastoma (ENB) which "if we catch it this early, you're very fortunate. And don't go looking it up on the internet, it'll scare the crap out of you."

"I could have cancer?!?"

Right away after leaving there she wanted to go to the lake. As a young girl she would spend every summer day at the pool, or ride her bike to Lake Michigan. Water was always her thing. She wanted to see something bigger than herself, and Lake Michigan was the biggest around. She went out on a pier that goes out into the Lake to talk to God alone, because she knew I wouldn't follow her out there (there's sharks and giant squid etc in the water...)

How exactly is this part of God's plan? My daughters are still so young, I'm home-schooling, there are things to do and see, why is this happening??

It's just like God that she got a phone call from a dear friend that was having family stuff going on she needed to talk about. So there they were sharing life together (hoo-hoo) And it is so great to be a part of something when it all comes back full circle; that same friend called yesterday while we were walking on the beach. There is no question in our minds that God is still there walking with us.

It is foolish for us to praise Him only in the "good times" merely because the road ahead seems a little foggy to us. We can only walk by faith, not by sight, strengthened by His glorious might. What joy it will be to look back at all this and say "what were we worried about?"

I really don't know who's reading this and where you are at spiritually, but I encourage you to take the time to look at this natural world that you can see, hear, taste, smell and touch and know that it was not put here by mistake. It was made by Someone who loves you and wants you to enjoy it. Something bigger than yourself, no matter what you're going through. Even when we don't praise Him, the earth cries out His glory.

I'm going to close today's post with excerpt from one of my favorite creation songs, "Truly Amazing" by The Waiting;

Well, the same Big Hands that made me made the biggest skies I've seen. And the same Big Eyes that cry for me are watching every living thing. So the skies they never argue and Creation won't complain. Though She's been victimized and brutalized she shudders only at One Name

                                                            

And I know I've been afraid of every little thing. But today I join Creation when I raise my head and sing

She's opened my eyes, and now I'm where I belong, joined in a song. You're truly amazing!

I'm looking at You, I tell You the view is truly amazing!

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Take Me to the Riverside

I have to admit when we first decided to have the surgery in CA I was very excited that we would be able to go to Greg Laurie's church, Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside CA. I've been listening to his radio messages for almost 15 years and receive his daily devotions via Email. Everyone has a favorite pastor, he's mine. He has a gift of explaining things simply but directly.

I had already planned to go this Sunday with the kids, but with the delay in Dana's surgery that meant we got to go together!

Right off the bat we had a Kleenex moment because the first worship song they played was "Salvation is Here" which has the lyrics..

"God above all the world in motion, God above all my hopes and fears. Well I don't care what the world throw at me now, It's gonna be alright! 'Cause I know my God saved the day and I know His word never fails and I know my God made a way for me..."

Dana said she heard this song at our church last week and made a note that she was going to tell me to put it in the blog. Pretty powerful huh? God always speaks to the two of us through music. I have personally always been impacted more through a 3 or 5 minute song from the heart than volumes of books. God brought me to faith through music and keeps me close to Him through it as well. Of course we weren't prepared for the next Kleenex moment.

Greg just returned from a trip to Israel and was preaching that day, but first introduced a new Christian Band called Revive from Australia who played their first radio single called "Blink." Just read these lyrics and tell me whether or not God was speaking to us through them...:

"Teach me to number my days, And count every moment before it slips away. Take in all the colors before they fade to gray. I don't want to miss even just a second more of this

It happens in a blink, It happens in a flash. It happens in the time it takes to look back. I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time. What is it I've done with my life?

When it's all said and done, no one remembers how far we have run. The only thing that matters is how we have loved. I don't want to miss even just a second more of this.

Slow down, slow down, before today becomes our yesterday.Slow down, slow down, before you turn around and it's too late.

It happens in a blink, It happens in a flash (etc)

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Brief Encounter

Picked up my Lady from the sleep study this morning and learned that she had a brief encounter with "a real live Christian!" Turns out the sleep tech goes to a real Bible-believing church and they had some amazing conversations. Just more proof that God is at work in her life and keeps placing complete strangers in her path to bring encouragement in times of stress.

We're not sure the data from her sleep study will be sufficient to make an educated decision Tuesday when we go before the group at the hospital. She was supposed to do a split study, half without the CPAP and half with. By the time she was actually able to get to sleep with everything running through her mind, it seemed then it was time to put on the mask. She maybe got 3 hrs of sleep at the most. We'll find out Tues at 2:30 if there's anything they can gleen from it.

I do think it's just like God to put another owl in her path at the sleep clinic. They are, of course, nocturnal.

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Another Glance

I was supposed to leave ten minutes ago to pick Dana up from the sleep study but I just had to share this, in case some of you are just waking up reading the previous post.

I was in fact on my way out the door when I got an email on my phone, it was pastor Greg Laurie's daily devotion and I stopped to read.

In it he referenced Psalm 91

Ps 91:2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Ps 91:4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield.

Ps 14-16  Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him."

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Sometime my life just don't make sense at all...

Well it's 11:30 pm Pacific time almost the 29th. I feel like a news reporter that has to write a story by midnight of a train that wrecked while his family was on board. Wow what an emotional train wreck of a day.

Everything was going as planned. Dana was all ready for surgery, gowned up, IV in, last minute well wishes from parents and kids, sitting on the bed shaking, waiting for the moment. All the anxiety of the past year+ culminates to the reality of the beginning of the rest of her life.

The Anest. came in after a very long and painful wait and was really concerned about her not using the CPAP and how that would affect her. This is something that was known by the surgical team and why we met with Dr Gil (Pulmonary) the night before to discuss how bad it would be for the pressure CPAP creates on the inside of the nose, it could compromise the healing process. This we knew and were prepared to deal with.

The Anest thought it would be a good idea to stay intubated overnight to help heal the first night, which isn't something we had discussed with the team yesterday, but seemed logical enough. It would be hard for the kids to see her intubated etc but we can deal with that also.

All the warmth and love and caring from the surgical team we got yesterday suddenly flushed down the sewer when this guy said "well you don't really have any serious side effects from this tumor, why don't you go home and lose about 50 pounds, come back another time it would make it a lot easier for all of us."

I'm not really sure if words can describe the amount of anguish that created.

Eventually Dr Kassam and the rest of the team came in the try to smooth things over. Damage was already don't. Thoughts of leaving to go home were trying to impair sound judgement. She felt like that scene in Rosemary's Baby where they are all huddling around the mother whose child they wanted.

Her safety is their main concern and they were worried that without the CPAP if she can't get air they'd have to do an emergency trache. This was never discussed previously where the heck was this guy yesterday when we were going over all these details? The anest. report is very important, they say, so why wasn't he in on the consultation yesterday? Why did this wait until the last minute, five minutes before surgery was supposed to start?

The want to do a sleep study tonight without the CPAP to see how she might respond after the surgery. A good idea logically but the way it was presented did not go over very well to say the least. This could have been done last night, or the night before, or for that matter a few weeks ago in Elgin!

They have tentatively rescheduled for next Wednesday, the best they can do with the holiday weekend, also  depending on the results of the study tonight. So now we'd be talking another 4-5 days of certainly increased anxiety, plus the expense of an extra week of house & car rental, changing plane tickets, missing work, missing the girls' dance recital...

Hold me Jesus, I'm shaking like a leaf....

It's real easy to look back at all these owls in the road and say it's part of God's plan when everything seems to fall into place. Well, it's not really easy, but it seems to make sense. Then something like this happens, it doesn't make sense. Six months ago she prayed, "God, if this really needs to come out, make it grow." It grew. Many times we have prayed (and others prayed for us) to make the path clear and straight. It has been.

Up until now. Is this really part of the plan? Or is this just a distraction? We don't know yet, but we pray that we will someday.

Ironically, the Anest. name was "Dr. Go". We went.

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Someone in my condition needs the Great Physician

Good morning! Wanted to leave a quick post in case you were up this early wondering how Dana is doing and praying for her surgery that was supposed to happen at 7am, half an hr ago from when I am writing.

I would like to say that the surgery was cancelled because her MRI yesterday showed the tumor was gone, but that would not be the truth. It was actually pushed back to 12:00 noon because the team has a couple of emergency surgeries they wanted to do before ours. Good news, we can sleep in a little (previously they wanted us there at 5am) but bad news, she still can't eat anything prior so she has a longer time of fasting :-(

Last night we met the surgical team fir the first time. What a breath of fresh air that was! They were all very kind, compassionate, caring, and even funny! Dr. Kassam, the surgeon who pioneered the endonasal approach, and Dr. Kelly took the time to answer all of her questions, explained everything in detail and gave honest expectations based on experiences and statistics. When something important arose, like how she was going to sleep without the CPAP for 6 weeks, they brought in Dr. Gil to discuss it. We definitely had a "Patch Adams" moment with Dr. Asia, the Internal Med guy. If these guys were (metaphorically) the magi coming in from the east, Dr. Asia definitely brought the "mirth" while the others brought gold and incense.

We definitely made the right choice coming out here. The team is not only the most highly skilled, but also the most caring and human. They held her hand, looked in her eyes and said "don't worry, we will take good care of you". Wen Dr. Kassam had to leave to tend to something else, he kept coming back to check on her (we were there for the consultation almost two hrs!). Dr. Gil called her at 9pm and left a message reminding her not to eat after 12:00 and that they would be caring for her in the morning! Just amazing... We are so blessed that God has made this type of health care available to us in this great time of need. (Hoo-hoo)

"But oh, Mr. Blog person, what happened to telling us about why we are in CA not PA?" you ask? sorry, that is going to have to wait a little, we are leaving for the hospital now. Dontcha love cliffhangers?

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Entertaining Airport Angels

(Continuation of yesterday's post from the airport)

We finally arrived at LAX last night, only four hours behind schedule. We were reflecting last night one our airport experience and how it could have turned out versus how it did. We were basically stuck there for almost six hours! We are not seasoned travelers so we were a bit out of our element.

Little did we know, it was just like God to have another plan for us. He sent the couple we met yesterday, Barb and Chip, who were on their way home after visiting her sister. Dana has no idea why she would have asked complete strangers to pray for her, but like I said a few posts ago, God brings comfort to us through our relationships with others.

We had lunch together, shared stories and pictures... it is just amazing how much fun we had for such a long time. we couldn't possibly imagine surviving that ordeal without them. There is no doubt in our mind it was a "God thing". We were entertaining angels but I think were were only unaware initially.

The last thing Barb said when we parted was the "God is with you, He is always with you and he ALWAYS cares about you!" Which we knew, but it is always good to hear from someone else! We serve such a great and awesome God that gets the glory for helping us through this. Dana just looked at me with tears and said "Hoo-hoo." Another Owl.

It is highly likely if you're reading this it is because I sent you the link, which means you are a person in her life that cares about her and we are greatly appreciative (whether we thank you enough or not!)

Dana is now getting her first MRI, so reality is hitting that this trip is really about brain surgery. Such a shame because the townhouse we are renting is absolutely wonderful it would make a great vacation. Perhaps we'll visit in the future just to relax and visit with Barb & Chip again.

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Go West, Young Woman

Well the trip has begun, and not without some initial travel-related hassles.

First the car that was supposed to take us to the airport didn't show up. We had to drive to mom's house (halfway) and catch a cab into ORD. Made our flight by mere minutes.

As I write we are in Minneapolis / St. Paul for our connection flight to LA. Upon arrival we learned our flight has been delayed 3 hours! Fortunately we met a nice elderly couple who was having trouble with the pay phone. I let them use my cell and the offered to pay us but Dana said, "no need to pay us, you can pray for us!" and proceeded to tell her story. We are now good friends and she is showing them pictures of the kids and birds.

You ask, why are we going to LA, I thought we were going to Pittsburgh? That depends on how much you knew about our story.

Which is a great seque into another historical background story. I will log in soon and add it then! Dontcha love cliffhangers?
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Second Glance

Hello again. This post falls under the "History" category.

As you may know Dana has been suffering from Peripheral Neuropathy in her legs and feet for almost 10 yrs. It's the sort of thing that many diabetes patients get but she was never diagnosed with that until a few years ago when she was taking medicine that spikes your blood sugar. Muscles twitch and tense for no apparent reason. Nerves in the feet go from icy cold to intense heat to nail-driving pain at random moments without warning or explanation. She tries a new "specialist" every few years but it's been no hope.

Last year she went to see a Neurologist in Geneva, Dr S, who boasted "the buck stops here, I will get to the bottom of this" proceeded to order an MRI to look for MS, which she's been tested for previously, and an excruciating nerve conduction study. He then essentially tossed all the data in the basement. He sort of said what the problem was but had no plan on how to fix it. Never bothered to call back for a follow-up even after multiple attempts on our part to try. The company that performed the MRI faxed us a copy of the report, which basically said nothing significant. No MS, again. I guess the buck continued without stopping...

A few days later we got another fax from the MRI company. Evidently the radiologist looked at the scans again and reported a small mass that could be a meningioma. I remember reading this over the phone to Dana and she told me to Google it, find out what it is and call her back.

"So....I have a brain tumor???" Certainly not what we were expecting. Thus begins the emotional devastation. Terror. Anxiety. Fear. Death? Why? This is so unfair. These are the time when we have to look hard to see God is at work in our lives. Our pastor James MacDonald was working through a series about trials as he was undergoing treatment for prostate cancer around the same time we got our news. It's hard to see us "coming forth as gold" at presently but when we do God gets the glory.

We still wonder...why did the radiologist take a second look? We may never know. Perhaps she was driving home and saw an owl in the road...

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I say "Hello!" to anyone who's listening

Good day and welcome to "Owl in the Road". This is our first venture into the world of blogging so please forgive us if we're doing this wrong (or if it's boring). The intent is to keep our families and friends updated on Dana's brain tumor, the surgery scheduled for later next week (May 28th), how her recovery is progressing, and a little bit of historical background along the way.

Undoubtedly you're wondering about the title and what it means. You may have heard of the movie The Bucket List where a couple of old guys make a list of things they want to do before they "kick the bucket". Sometime this winter Dana and I were pondering this and she prayed, "God, I'd really like to see a bald eagle." We were making plans to go to Dubuque in hope of a few sightings but first drove down to the Marina at Lake Galena, just a mile down the road from our house. As we turned the corner she opened the sunroof cover and said jokingly "Let's get an 'Eagle-Eye View'!" when at that very instant a bald eagle flew right over as we were looking! It took our breath away and she jumped out of the car chasing it through the snowy field trying to get a picture. Here it is:

The next day she pondered "I've never seen an owl." Late that night we were driving home from the West on Mt. Hope Rd near the cow farms and stopped because something was in the road. Best as we could tell at first, it was a small bird with the head of an owl and fumbling for the camera she exclaimed "there's a freakin' OWL in the road!!" over an over. Later we learned it was an Eastern Screech Owl. Of course it flew away before we could get a picture but the moment forever lives in Sherman bird-watching history.

We later decided to coin the term "Owl in the Road" for any event of significance, an epiphany moment, or a "sign" (not necessarily a crop circle like in Midnight Shama-lamma's movie).

As we go through this ordeal we try to look for God's healing hand upon our hearts. Sometimes He speaks to us and comforts us through our relationships with other people, sometimes it is through events that make us gasp and say "No one but God our Creator could have done that." Some call them "signs", some say they are "just coincidences." To us its an "Owl in the Road."

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Test 1-2-3 (cue feedback screech)

This is a sample of the work done on this machine.